The Weigh-In (week 3)

A disappointing week for me this week - a loss of just 4 pounds :(

Maybe it's just one of those things - because the only thing I have done differently for this week is eat less yoghurt than I have the previous two weeks.  I'm so disappointed in myself. Like almost everyone in my position, I wish I could wake up tomorrow morning and find myself slimmer and beautiful... but it's taken me years to get as fat as I am, and I know it should take a reasonable amount of time to get to a 'me' that I'm comfortable with and that I like again. But I am just so impatient!

I haven't had the chance to get on the X-Box and try out the "Biggest Loser" 'game' yet - house visitors and busy times have stopped me for the time being. I am impatient to get started on that though - losing half as much weight this week as I did last week has brang my mood down - but it's also made me more determined to lose extra weight for next week. I don't like feeling like this - I hate being disappointed nearly as much as I hate being fat!

Staying positive is a struggle - there's that voice in my head that weeps "Why did you let yourself get like this?", the nagging that cries "You're pathetic!", and the ptiful wail of "You can't do this!". When you get to be as big as I am, you make jokes to hide behind (BIG jokes!).

"Inside every skinny girl is a fat girl screaming for chocolate!"

"Lord, if you can't make me skinny, please make my friends fat!"

"Life threw me some big curves... they all ended up on my backside!"

But the joking is a mask... a place go to so that no-one can see how much hurt there is within those folds of fat, in those chubby cheeks, and flapping by those bingo-wings.

I get that a lot of people love being large - they love themselves with weight and curves... they're happy. I'm not.

Maybe this post should be ignored as the whining voice of a person who just needs a kick up the jacksey - stop complaining, get positive, and get moving!

How do others maintain a positive outlook, I wonder?